Patriarchy Is a System Design of Control
Dominance Is Its First Principle
We do not like to ascribe to systems that trap us in rules we do not choose. Yet, we ascribe to these systems unconsciously all the time. The change, elevation, and expansion work is to upend belief systems and thought patterns that auto-design architectures, expectations, norms, and rules we become enslaved in, without intention.
Life can be reinvented.
Not through force, but through awareness.
Dialogue. Connection. Curiosity. Receptivity.
A deeper understanding of the power of the mind (to change and reshape itself).
An individual discipline that maintains and leverages the frequency of love, not one that exercises apathy and submission to fear.
We are at the end of inherited belief systems and thought patterns. Enough new consciousness has come into our neural networks now to sustain disruption, and support individuals' choosing, through awareness, to design and participate in systems that free rather than trap.
Systems that create rather than control.
Systems that care rather than dominate.
Systems that connect rather than separate.
The Design of Patriarchy
Patriarchy is a system design.
Invented by men (a verifiable fact, not a criticism of men) to serve an inorganic, unnatural, and imbalanced control agenda.
It is a system design that has trapped everyone — men and women — in rules nobody consciously chose. Patriarchy has stolen too much from everyone — all beings — regardless of gender.
Patriarchy rewards
dominion over care, and
control over connection.
We are tribal animals wired for care and connection. When care and connection are not foundational to a system's design, said system is absent the base frequency for thriving, creating, innovating, imagining, growing, elevating, and expanding. These elements do not discriminate based on gender. And, they support a flourishing system.
Systems Changing
To design alternate systems that do not default to the tenets of patriarchy, we create consciously. We upend the sniffs of dominion and control with wiring, values, expectations, norms, and ways that actively confront subjugation and the sport of dominance.
Our systems are reflections of us, the people who make them up and participate in them — by choice and by force. They are a reflection of us, our interior worlds, a collective intent.
Consciously designing out of programmed systems of dominion and control into one of care and connection is hard work.
That hard work is also a conscious design. A design that demands swallowing the emotional glass of shame, pain, illusion, denial, and self-confrontation. A design that takes you through the metamorphosis of transmutation and transformation to finally see, understand, and accept the ways a system such as patriarchy had you participating. By choice, often unconsciously.
Projecting onto others is a patriarchal design.
Withholding is a patriarchal design.
Greed is a patriarchal design.
Meanness is a patriarchal design.
Victimhood is a patriarchal design.
Aggression is a patriarchal design.
Co-opting is a patriarchal design.
Fear is a patriarchal design.
Mistrust is a patriarchal design.
Blame is a patriarchal design.
Over-functioning is a patriarchal design.
Martyrdom is a patriarchal design.
Heroism is a patriarchal design.
Betrayal is a patriarchal design.
Manipulation is a patriarchal design.
Grooming is a patriarchal design.
Militarisation is a patriarchal design.
Ignorance is a patriarchal design.
Bypassing is a patriarchal design.
Neediness is a patriarchal design.
Industrialisation is a patriarchal design.
Obligation is a patriarchal design.
The work of changing systems is first deciding not to participate any longer. Second, to make choices that confront your own biases, thought patterns, habits, and operating ways. Third, to actively re-shape, re-imagine, and rewire objectively different system designs.
Conscious Choice
Choosing consciously is the only instrument by which to create new systems. Design ways that enable and leverage alternative habit forming, open up different neural pathways, and establish highly contradictory expectations, norms, and understandings.
Have the courage to choose who you are and how you want to show up.
Do not compromise yourself, and do not invite actors in who will ask you to.
If they show up, see them as the test they are, not as the fellow traveling companion you want them to be.
Apply your choices with rigor, discipline, and awareness.
Understand that swallowing the metaphorical glass of unconscious patriarchal shadow material is an evolutionary call into your own leadership.
Build without apology, yet with ferocity.
Remember that leading is never meant to be easy.
Listen deeply and trust the evolutionary pull.
Craft a methodical self-reflective, meditative, and silence practice.
It is we who enable the new rules for which we can abide and thrive, rather than perpetuating the ascription to ones we feel trapped and consumed by.
Begin with care and a willingness for connection. First with and for yourselves, in dialog and relationship with your own hearts. This way, you build safety and receptivity to care and connect with others.
Patriarchy has and does cut this deep. The fear of care and connection — to yourselves and others.
Confronting unconscious patterning and programming installed in your individual and collective psyches has to be a first step to grafting new systems.
Only with awareness, will, and strength can we individually and collectively build systems of collaboration, collectivism, care, and connectivity.
To be free. To not be trapped.