Mentoring, advising, coaching, managing, teaching, and leading are all slippery slopes.

• You may like having the answers and explaining.
• You may like nurturing others.
• You may naturally see into the future with relative precision.
• You might not like people to feel sad or get hurt, especially when it's avoidable.
• Your style may be to break people down.
• Alternatively, you may pride yourself on thinking your hands-off approach is more righteous leadership.

The reality is, these are all forms of conflict avoidance.

The bolder play is to hold space while maintaining openness, presence, clarity, and honesty. You aren’t diving in and doing anyone’s work for them (rescue | avoid axes), but you are naming and containing to foster directness and real-time communication. You are not “raising” or “breaking” or “restoring” anyone.

Loving-kindness, unconditional love, detachment, discernment, and heart-centeredness are high-order principles and practices. They demand more, not less, conscious awareness from you.

To not rescue is deep work. To not avoid or deflect is, too. You want to interact by being present, open, honest, and direct. You want to hold your side of the net with laser clarity, while allowing the other person to work their sovereign side. You honor and dignify them in their current state of power and agency, regardless of how it meets or satisfies your own tendencies.

Active skill building – not default, unconscious culture and people norms – evolves the future.