dear men

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to listen.

Your worldview is not the worldview.

I am tired of having to cajole an alternative view into existence by mollycoddling you rather than feeling confident that I can simply name it and will be heard, listened to, seen, and appreciated for my worldview.

I do not need you to agree with me.

I need you to hear me.

I need you to meet me halfway  —  braving that your fragility isn’t at risk by my strength.

I need you to open up and recognize that in doing so you are actively participating in changing the imbalances so deeply rooted in our psyches around gender and power.

I need you to not react and defend, but rather soften and open.

I need you to help me model what a future actually looks like so the kids will experience men and woman appreciating, exploring, and navigating the gorgeous differences between genders.

I need you to stand up and take baby steps into this complex jungle using our micro moments to learn any and all nuances about each blindspot we have co-created together for millennia.

I need you to do this with me hand-in-hand without trying to absorb me.

I need you to get quiet so I can get loud. I need you to feel into the discomfort of your quiet and my loud  —  and interrogate that emotion.

I need you to realize that intimacy is about our differences, not our merging. To feel safe, held, honored and respected, I need you to see me as fully individuated from you. I am myself. I am me. I am who I am and you are who you are.

I need you to see and then believe in the beauty of the differences and power between us.

I need you to not dominate as a default.

I need you to get aware.

I need you to live in your questions far more than living in your convictions.

I need you to create room for others.

I need you to pause.

The dance is exhausting. The losses are enormous  —  and time is running out.

We have to do this work for the future. We need one another to get it done.

I need an agreement from you that you are able and willing to take my hand and go on this walk together  —  as two people, between two people, as warriors together  —  trusting we can only fight the battle united.

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to hear.

Come with me.

Please stop thinking you have to lead. I’ve got this. And I need you. It’s just that I need you in a new, different way than I’ve needed you in the past.

I need you to play second.

I need you to be vulnerable.

I need you to listen.

I need you to be your powerful self while not diminishing my powerful self.

I need you to revere the feminine in you.

I need you to dance with detaching from your identity to make room for mine.

I need you to laugh at yourself without using it to take up so much space in the room.

I need you to be patient in understanding this is going to take time, intention, trial, and error.

I need you to get out of solve and hero mode and get into explore and awake mode.

I need your partnership on this. And I need you to know it’s not about you.

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to see.

love women