Dear Men

Seriously, It’s Time

Kathryn Maloney M.A. ABS

An appreciator of contrast and the exquisite beauty found in the spaces between, Kathryn operates at the dynamic intersection of system complexity and applied behavioral science design, relentlessly driving outcome-based results. With over 25 years of transformative experience, she has been a catalyst for change, seamlessly weaving visionary systems initiatives into strategic priorities. As a trusted advisor and partner, she empowers leaders, founders, and teams to build robust businesses and effect profound change. Drawing from her extensive expertise, Kathryn immerses herself in the intricacies of leadership, communication, operational system designing, horizontal functioning, connective tissue knitting, and collective intelligence. She infuses presence, power, and profound self-awareness into comprehensive organisational strategies, implementing actionable changes that elevate your system’s potential and amplify its human value. Kathryn’s approach transcends mere complexity management; it’s about mastering it to forge meaningful impact. She empowers organizations to navigate challenges with unwavering clarity and purpose, ensuring that every initiative resonates deeply with the core mission and aspirations of the people involved. Her work isn’t merely about strategy; it’s about transforming visions into reality, creating a legacy of innovation, status quo disruption, and evolutionary growth.

more about Kathryn

2020-03-08 , Brooklyn

Published for International Women's Day, 2020

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to listen.

Your worldview is not the worldview.

I am tired of having to cajole an alternative view into existence by mollycoddling you rather than feeling confident that I can simply name it and will be heard, listened to, seen, and appreciated for my worldview.

I do not need you to agree with me.

I need you to hear me.

I need you to meet me halfway — braving that your fragility isn’t at risk by my strength.

I need you to open up and recognize that in doing so you are actively participating in changing the imbalances so deeply rooted in our psyches around gender and power.

I need you to not react and defend, but rather soften and open.

I need you to help me model what a future actually looks like so the kids will experience men and woman appreciating, exploring, and navigating the gorgeous differences between genders.

I need you to stand up and take baby steps into this complex jungle using our micro moments to learn any and all nuances about each blindspot we have co-created together for millennia.

I need you to do this with me hand-in-hand without trying to absorb me.

I need you to get quiet so I can get loud. I need you to feel into the discomfort of your quiet and my loud — and interrogate that emotion.

I need you to realize that intimacy is about our differences, not our merging. To feel safe, held, honored and respected, I need you to see me as fully individuated from you. I am myself. I am me. I am who I am and you are who you are.

I need you to see and then believe in the beauty of the differences and power between us.

I need you to not dominate as a default.

I need you to get aware.

I need you to live in your questions far more than living in your convictions.

I need you to create room for others.

I need you to pause.

The dance is exhausting. The losses are enormous — and time is running out.

We have to do this work for the future. We need one another to get it done.

I need an agreement from you that you are able and willing to take my hand and go on this walk together — as two people, between two people, as warriors together — trusting we can only fight the battle united.

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to hear.

Come with me.

Please stop thinking you have to lead. I’ve got this. And I need you. It’s just that I need you in a new, different way than I’ve needed you in the past.

I need you to play second.

I need you to be vulnerable.

I need you to listen.

I need you to be your powerful self while not diminishing my powerful self.

I need you to revere the feminine in you.

I need you to dance with detaching from your identity to make room for mine.

I need you to laugh at yourself without using it to take up so much space in the room.

I need you to be patient in understanding this is going to take time, intention, trial, and error.

I need you to get out of solve and hero mode and get into explore and awake mode.

I need your partnership on this. And I need you to know it’s not about you.

dear men

I am exhausted.

I love you and respect (most of) you. And I need you to see.

love women

You’ve got this. x

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Published on 2020-03-08 by Kathryn Maloney M.A. ABS