Your wounds, unconscious memories, and limiting beliefs are calling out on repeat for transmutation. Yet, your reptilian, dopamine-addicted mind desperately wants you to believe deeply in the “offense” set off by the trigger—set off by the unconscious, ego mind.

Triggers are subtle or not-so-subtle reminders to:

• pause
• take a breath
• hold your words
• take ownership of the moment
• see what the moment has on hand to teach you

When you feel the rumbling in your body (because triggers are always body sensations first, and usually the same sensation on repeat), become intimate with and meet the sensation. Get to know it. Allow yourself not to be dragged around by it. Breathe into the reaction. Be in relationship to it objectively rather than co-dependently. Allow it to be, rather than fight against it. Do this so it settles the f@$% down.

Meanwhile, verbally or nonverbally assign a feeling word to the moment in your psyche and body. Then (and only then), form words.

Those words could look like “Tell me more about X,” “Give me a second to figure out what I’m reacting to so I can ask a thoughtful, clarifying question,” or “Tell me if I’m hearing you correctly." Feedback what you are hearing with neutrality. This allows you and the other to verify and validate if you are in the same conversation, if you listened and heard accurately what was said. This allows you in that current moment to objectively separate yourself from your trigger. A trigger that is undoubtedly rooted in your ancient history DNA, not the moment being had.

Your dopamine-addicted mind tells you lies all day long. It loves you wound up. That is its supply.

Training yourself not to play from ego, from the dopamine fix, and from your triggers will uplevel your energetic game. It will also help you to sleep better at night.